Young Writers Society

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.

First Impression: So this one is a really short little piece. It seems to have some semblance of a plot actually which is quite surprising for something as short as this thing is but the thing is that said plot doesn't really make any actual sense. Its just something random happens because of something that is also random. It doesn't have any sort of proper flow to it or anything like that which would make it a proper fully fledged story. So you need to work on that.

Anyway let's get right to it,

I kissed the troll , behind the scaly skin , two foot fangs and crushing hands lay a kind and gentle being , better than the man who had captured him from Beruk island and brought him to london for the world to point and say what an ugly turd at.

i huged him on the leg , a smile spread on his face then , he fell to the floor , and died .

In london he roamed through unintentionlly stepping on cars and eating people , he was looking for me . In one last attemt to find me he climbed big ben and throu himself off it , when i came he lay on the floor , he got up , i kissed him and huged him never wanting to let go , he smiled fell to the floor and died.

Well, for starters this sounds just like King Kong. You also said he died two times, that could have been some kind of hidden meaning. If so, you need to elaborate on that as well as your sentences to make it longer. Next, you need to put your story into sentences to to where the readers can follow and it makes sense. Like this:

(The *'s are going to be found throughout the story. The meaning of them are going to be at the bottom of your quoted work.)

I kissed a troll. Behind the scaly skin, two foot fangs, and crushing hands lay a kind and gentle being. He was so much better than the man who had captured him from Beruk Island and brought him to London for the world to point at and say, *"What an ugly turd".
I hugged him on the leg as a smile spread on his face. Suddenly he fell to the floor and died.

In London he roamed through the streets unintentionlly stepping on cars and *eating people. He was looking for me. In one last attemt to find me he climbed Big Ben and threw himself off it. When I came he was lying on the floor. He soon got up slowly and *dried my tears. I kissed him and hugged him; never wanting to let go. He smiled once again and fell to the floor. He was gone.

Okay this reminds me of something and hugged has two g's. Attempt spelt with a p in it. Throw is spelt like that.
I know what this remind me of King Kong, anyway work on it make it bigger it's too small.

WEEELL
*eats someone
Acidents happen.